The first time I cried after E2 was diagnosed with all her allergies was in the car on the way home from the appointment. The news had come suddenly and with no real explanation and I was feeling shell-shocked. The implications her (then) eight food allergies were beginning to dawn on me… And the first thing I realised was that she would probably never be able eat cake on her birthday, and that thought upset me so much that I burst into tears right there behind the wheel.
Handling birthdays and other celebrations is one of the hardest things to deal with when you have kids with food allergies (or, I’m sure, when you are a child with food allergies). When the allergy is nuts, wheat, soy, dairy, or eggs, the cakes and treats at most parties will be entirely off-limits. And that’s tough on a kid, to sit by and watch everyone else dig in when they can’t, or to have to eat something that’s different (but safe) from what everyone else is having. It takes a lot of maturity on the kid’s part to handle that gracefully, and a lot of patient explaining — and extreme vigilance — on the part of the parent to get them to accept it.
I’m not that good parent. I’m far too lazy, and so I’ve avoided the issue completely thus far by simply not letting the girls know about the parties I’ve declined on their behalf. Alright, it’s only been one but I dread the prospect of sitting by as a dozen pairs of sticky hands touch the same tables and toys and gifts and balloons that my girls’ hands will then touch. I don’t want bring our own food, and corral my kids to their own table, and make the host-mother feel so uncomfortable and inconvenienced. And I know I can’t keep an eagle-eye on both girls at the same time — my eyes don’t work independently of each other.
But even I, lazy mother that I am, can’t back out of their own birthdays, so the cake issue had to be addressed! And my mother, fairy grandmother that she is, performed the small miracle that her granddaughters needed. Somehow, she took the nut-free, soy-free, wheat-free, dairy-free cake mix from Cherrybrook Kitchen and, without adding any dairy or egg at all, created such a delicious birthday cake that we have had it for every occasion and celebration since.
My girls can have cake! My girls can have cake! And have it, they do…
Stumble it!
That looks like a moist, tasty cake too! I’m glad to see that there is at least one option out there.
What a sweet post. There are just so many things we take for granted who do not suffer from food allergies. I recently discovered my Dad is allergic to ground flax seed. When I was visiting in April I started him on the stuff because it is suppose to be great at lowering cholesterol, preventing cancer and all sorts of ailments. He became violently ill and I thought I was going to lose him. I didn’t make the connection with flax seed at all until my Aunt mentioned the fact that her friend became very ill after taking Omega3 tablets. Well, Flaxseed is a excellent source of Omega3…so I wondered if he was having an intolerance to it. After much, crying, praying, going to doctors…etc. I asked him to try not taking the flaxseed for three days. Each day he was off of the flaxseed he began to improve. It’s been out of his system for over a week now and he’s back to (his) normal.
It does appear that Dad has developed a few allergies later in life. Just when you think you’ve got it sussed…there are more surprises.
wow! that is great!!
Mmmm that looks really tasty! And I’m glad to see it’s chocolate.
[...] 20, 2009 by Strawberry But the thing with your daughters finally getting to eat cake — and your mother realising that she can be the source of this new joy to her granddaughters [...]
My Eldest has a best buddy that is allergic to dairy, nuts and eggs. I always offer and try to have on hand at least something that his buddy can enjoy. His mom will bring him with his own sack lunch and cake or cookies (if it is that kind of celebration.) My point being, I cannot imagine anyone being offended by you accomodating your daughters’ needs. More important is that they have their friends (and you, too) who know that they are more than the list of allergies or limited diet options.
And now that you have a cake… let the parties begin!!